So here is the turn out on my "experiment". Some of this came out quite funny, other parts frustrating, some surprising and highly enlightening to myself and my "experiment" partners.
I should start out by saying that my first partner did not fare so well with this experiment. Since nobody else was home I thought it would be a fun way to spend some time with my son and also teach him a little about what mommy is doing for school (since he always hears me saying I'm doing homework or is watching me do homework), my son is 7 years old, a very bright, animated and enthusiastic 7yr old. I wasn't worried that he wouldn't get the idea of what I needed to do however I did not expect him to get so frustrated and stomp off, he's never done that before....EVER! So here it goes!
Part 1 started off well, as I said before my son was my buddy in this experiment, that's how it started anyways. After explaining to him what we needed to do he was excited to help mommy as long as I promised I would tell you all that his name is Noah, that part was very important to him. We started the experiment and I set the timer. Noah carried on a conversation with me about how he wanted to go swimming and see his cousins, however he was looking for affirmation that this was ok. This is were the frustration started with us. Now since in this part I could use non verbal cues, it started out ok, almost a typical conversation while I'm listening to him or doing homework or taking care of his sister by no means does this type of communication dominate my house, however he wanted a YES or NO answer, I shook my head sideways as to say maybe for a 7 year old that was like saying yes, which started getting me frustrated. He said "mom just type it out" , I shook my head NO, he states "no I can't go? or no you can't type it out?" I shook my head yes and shook my finger to wait and he got mad. I have never seen my son so upset. We were only about 8 minutes into the experiment @ this point and he stomped off. I took off after him and made a weird noise that I truly don't even know what it was and he stopped, looked @ me and said "isn't you class supposed to be about the skulls on your computer and the monkey's on your book? Why are you doing this? It's stupid!" I don't allow that in my house and I think he saw from the rosy red color that I was originally to the vibrant red I had turned that I was NOT happy! We are now 12 minutes into this experiment ( more like a wake up call for me and Noah) and he says" is it time yet?" I'm thinking how am I ever going to do part 2 with him. I'm not. He sat there on his bed with his big eyes staring at me and asked me if I was mad at him, I shook my head no. I have never been more happy than when that timer went off 15 minutes! I should just say he did go to his cousins and go swimming but it was already planned AFTER homework. Noah and I learned a lot on that day. I have vowed to listen more closely to my son and he has promised that he won't assume he will wait till I can verbally acknowledge him with eye contact ( well at least verbal and a head nod). Which brings me to part 2. After part 1 I could not bring myself to do part 2 with him, because he is so animated I knew he would having me rolling with laughter just so we would have to start over and he could say he got me!
Part 2
So this part took place with my significant other. What started out a little boring got funny and annoying at the same time. So after explaining to him what the assignment was and getting his two cents about this we embarked on this assignment. I am sure by this time you all have figured out that I'm a bit animated myself. What I thought would be easier because I was dealing with an adult wasn't! I started off the conversation with a few simple questions about his day. As he was answering my questions I found myself wanting to move my hands and move eye brows. I have never had to be so aware of my facial expressions as I was those 15 very long minutes! While he was talking about his day I would ask him another question in what I thought was a strictly monotone voice, what I didn't realize is that after having the ability to be so animated when I speak taming that would be nothing short of a miracle, which brought up a little laugh inside of me. As we carried on the conversation I could tell that he was getting annoyed that I showed no emotion for how well he did at his competition which actually hurt, because I am so very proud of his accomplishment and I wanted to give him a hug and smile and I couldn't, which in turn annoyed me that I was having this type of conversation with him about something so great. why couldn't we be having a conversation about the weather or the Kings game or work? Why about something so great? As time ticked on he told me that he doesn't like this side of me and that I could have never become a nurse if this was my attitude towards patients (which it is not). The last part of the conversation was about him asking me how it went with part 1 of this assignment and Noah. WHY?? I asked him why he would ask me such an in depth question at such a hard time? He said " I want to see how good you are at this?!?" I couldn't believe he was trying to pull the same thing I knew my son would do, trying to get me to crack. At that moment the bell went off and I found myself sinking into the chair and trying to get my facial muscles to work, and then hugging him and smiling @ him and telling him how proud I was. This assignment was not the least bit easy, I saw sides of myself and two people I love that I have not seen before.
Dear Donielle,
ReplyDeleteI loved your language blog post. Attempting this experiment with your young son Noah was a novel innovation. His understanding of the experiment made this a greater challenge. I especially enjoyed his interpretation of what the class represents to him (i.e. skulls on the computer and monkeys in a book.) I think it’s telling how, even at his young age, he has already decided that this exercise did not fit appropriately into our syllabus. I have noticed a fairly common theme among the blogs. Almost universally the second part is perceived as the more difficult. I have also noticed the term frustration as a common refrain.
That has got to be the most interesting description I have ever read for Part A! What patience you have and kudos to Noah for trying to help you with your homework!
ReplyDeleteAdults become very frustrated with this experiment, so you can understand why a 7 year old would respond as he did. He was just saying what the adults would like to say but are too polite to do so!
(A side note: About once a year, I manage to lose my voice and have to do this experiment for real with my own kids. They actually love it, though they are all older! Mom can't yell at them. :-) )
I'm missing the part about the two cultures meeting? Did you get the guidelines from the assignment folder for this week?
Great description on Part B. Again, missing some of the follow-up questions listed in the assignment folder for this week?
Hello Donielle,
ReplyDeleteI like that you had your son participate on this experiment. I believe almost anyone would get frustrated with both A and B. This experiment has thought all of us things we need in order to communicate that before this we took for granted.
Jeannette Lara
It was very enlightening as I said. Noah was very happy that I didn't yell after I was able to speak. As far as the guidelines I thought I had met them all? I went back and spoke with them both about how the experiment felt. They were both frustrated however I think Noah, being 7 had "gotten over it", where as my other half was still upset over the fact that I showed no emotion to such wonderful news. The verbal and non verbal words have grown together over the past several million years, from grunts and groans to sign language, to writing in some form people have communicated in some with each other. I know this will sound weird but this assignment brought me back to the Disney movie "Ice Age", I remember the parents of the little boy that the animals had rescued were not verbal but made hand gestures as to say thank you and smiled they also had drawn pictures in the cave depicting things that had happened. Yes I am aware that it is a kids movie but for some reason it popped in my head. People have had to have some form of communication in order to convey feelings, wants & needs.
ReplyDeleteIt was very enlightening as I said. Noah was very happy that I didn't yell after I was able to speak. As far as the guidelines I thought I had met them all? I went back and spoke with them both about how the experiment felt. They were both frustrated however I think Noah, being 7 had "gotten over it", where as my other half was still upset over the fact that I showed no emotion to such wonderful news. The verbal and non verbal words have grown together over the past several million years, from grunts and groans to sign language, to writing in some form people have communicated in some with each other. I know this will sound weird but this assignment brought me back to the Disney movie "Ice Age", I remember the parents of the little boy that the animals had rescued were not verbal but made hand gestures as to say thank you and smiled they also had drawn pictures in the cave depicting things that had happened. Yes I am aware that it is a kids movie but for some reason it popped in my head. People have had to have some form of communication in order to convey feelings, wants & needs.
ReplyDeletep.s the COC website and blackboard are down as of right now and I am unable to email you Dr. Rodriguez :(
ReplyDeleteI just emailed. Did you check in the Week 7 assignment folder for the guidelines for this post? Last week was information on how to do the experiment.
DeleteIn the world of verbal vs non-verbal, I have a little experience as my sister used to teach sign language to kids. While I would go to class with her sometimes I noticed that the more the students picked up on the sign language the more animated they would get in their facial expressions. These were kids that had hearing @ one time and lost it or were born deaf. Another thing I have noticed is that people on the autism spectrum usually have a hard time with social skills as well as reading body language, therefore they have a hard time making friends ( not all children on the spectrum are like this).
ReplyDelete